An Invader Zim Valentine's Day
by Silvershadow426
Summary: It's Valentine's Day, and Zim is having a tough time figuring out what the holiday means. How will he be able to express this newfound emotion toward Tak?


Zim looked at the gray high school building in front of him with disgust. His antennae twitched under his itchy wig in irritation, and his eyes felt watery from the contacts. Why he still had to go to school and hadn't taken over Earth he didn't know. As he walked across the dying grass and into the "jailhouse," as most of the students referred to it, he only knew one thing: it was Monday, and it was going to be a very long day.

Expecting to see the same glum hallways as usual, the disguised alien was completely taken aback when he saw that the school had been flooded by a sea of pink. Hearts hung from the ceiling and stuck to the walls and peoples' lockers. Everyone around him was smiling creepily, and he noticed that they were giving each other gifts. He gagged as he saw that one of the gifts was chocolate, and tried not to think about the revolting sweet food. He decided to quickly grab his books and head to his first class. As he made his way toward his locker, a large banner almost seemed to scream out at him from above the main doorway: Happy Valentine's Day.

"Disgusting, isn't it?" a voice said next to him. Zim didn't jump as he was used to the girl sneaking up behind him unexpectedly. He only nodded his head before closing his locker and turning to look at Gaz. Her black and dark purple attire completely stood out against the bright colors of a pointless holiday.

"What's even more disgusting are the meat slabs," Zim responded, almost with a trace of fear. Gaz laughed softly to herself before looking back at him. His curiosity had been peaked; Gaz never laughs at anything except her brother.

"They changed the 'rules,'" she explained. "Everything's back to the way it was who knows how many years ago." Now Zim was really wondering what was going on. He grabbed Gaz's shoulder as she starting walking away from him, but quickly let go when she gave him a death glare.

"What do you mean, back to the way it was?" he asked. After years of research, Zim thought he had learned everything about this planet. Missing information was unacceptable. Gaz sighed as she knew that she'd have some explaining to do.

"Okay," she started slowly. "Before the whole meat thing happened, everyone in Valentine's Day would exchange cards and candy and flowers. For some reason that tradition has come back." She paused to let Zim process this new information.

"But why do they exchange?"

"To show someone that they love them." Gaz responded quickly. The only word that jumped out at the confused alien was "love." He sounded the word on his lips several times.

"Love? What is this 'love' you speak of?" As far as Zim knew, he had never heard of or encountered love. Gaz looked around quickly, clearly embarrassed that she of all people was explaining love to Zim.

"It's a strong emotion, stronger than anything in the world."

"Can it fire a laser?" Zim's eyes widened with joy. "Can it help me take over this planet?" His voice was filled with excitement as he was suddenly taking an interest in something that strong. His response was a roll of light brown eyes.

"No! It's a feeling inside of you. It's-it's…" Gaz was at a loss for words, not knowing how to describe something like this. That's when she saw another girl at her locker, and a smile deviously crawled onto her face.

"It's what?" Zim was dying from anticipation. "I must know what it is!" Gaz looked at him again.

"It's how you feel about Tak." Zim's jaw dropped to the floor as he stared at Gaz in utter shock, but she only smiled.

"Tak? I do not love Tak!" he proclaimed. "I've hated her ever since she came to this planet!" Gaz's smile grew.

"Exactly," she pointed out before walking to her first class. Zim's confusion had officially reached an all time high as he watched her walk away, leaving him alone in the hallway. Realizing that he would be late, Zim quickly grabbed his books and ran to class.

He didn't pay attention; he never did. But Zim's whirling mind was on something else. What really was love? He knew there was a huge difference between love and hate for he experienced hate everyday. But did you have to hate someone to love them? He thought about how much he hated Dib and shuddered at the thought of actually loving him. But the more he thought about what Gaz had said, the more his eyes wandered to Tak sitting in front of him in the next row. Like Gaz, her dark apparel stood out against the pink classroom, and he could tell that Tak was just as furious about the color as he and Gaz were.

Thoughts and memories suddenly poured into Zim's mind as he continued to stare at the other, more cleverly disguised, alien. Zim had known Tak in the Academy, but had never actually talked to her. He remembered when she had come to Earth so many years ago to take his mission from him. When she had disappeared into space, he was surprised and almost horrified that Dib had found her ship. When she had come back three years ago, Zim couldn't even believe it.

A few hours later, the school was dismissed to go off campus to get lunch. Zim immediately went home and sat at his supercomputer. He was going to figure out what love was no matter how long it took.

"Computer! I need assistance!" he commanded. The response was a low sigh.

"Yes, Zim? What is it?" a mechanical voice said.

"I need you to define what love is," he stated simply. There was a brief pause.

"Love?" the computer asked disbelievingly. "Why would you want to know about love?"

"Just tell me!" the impatient Irken commanded, his antennae twitching with annoyance.

"I-I don't know what it is," the machine stammered. Zim's eyes widened in amazement.

"How could you not know?" he demanded. "You are a super computer built by the Vorts after we enslaved them!" The computer sat quietly, not very satisfied with the fact that Zim was yelling at it.

"Exactly," it said. "I'm a computer, meaning I know as much about love as you do." Zim crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes, clearly unsatisfied of the answer he received. He jumped suddenly as a loud squeal was heard from behind him.

"Gir!" he shouted angrily. "Haven't I told you to never sneak up on me like that?" the little robot stared blankly at him before slowly shaking his head. Zim slammed the palm of his hand against his forehead before glaring at Gir again. "Well, what do you want?"

"I just wanted to tell you what love was," he said in a high voice. Zim stared blankly at him before erupting into a fit of laughter. Wiping a tear from his eye, he decided to humor the silly robot.

"Okay, Gir," he smiled. "What is love?"

"Love is when you truly care about someone, and you would do anything for them to see them happy because it makes you happy. Anytime you look at them or talk to them, you always feel good inside." Gir paused for a moment before shouting, "I love piggies!" He quickly pulled out a stuffed pig and started playing with it on the floor of the underground lab. Zim stood, amazed, and thought about what Gir had said. It had sounded almost overly sophisticated for him to say something like that. The alien thought about all the times he had seen and rarely talked to Tak, but he couldn't recall feeling anything inside of himself.

"Silly Gir," he laughed, dismissing what the robot had told him. "I only asked to see what kind of ridiculous answer you would give me. I must go back to the horrible school. I'll be back later." Gir took no notice of the insult and continued to play with his pig while his master left. As soon as the door had shut, the computer let out a sigh.

"How long do we have to wait until we tell him that you were actually right?" it asked. Gir simply shrugged while bouncing his toy on the hard floor.

When Zim had re-entered the building, the first person he saw was Tak. Gir's words echoed in his mind over and over again, and the longer he looked into her disguised purple eyes, the more he realized that he actually had had this feeling before. He just never knew it or completely ignored it. He realized that to his left was Gaz, her smirk aggravating him slightly. Looking back at Tak, he noticed that someone was trying to give her a full bouquet of roses, an armful of chocolate, and a giant heart-shaped balloon. He heard Gaz laughing slightly, and it wasn't until then that Zim noticed he had balled his hands into fists. Realizing that he felt jealous, he unclenched his hands.

"Could this be the love?" he muttered to himself. Screaming and crashing interrupted his thoughts, and when he looked up again, the boy that had offered Tak the gifts was head first in the trashcan. The balloon had been popped, the chocolate smashed, and the flowers ripped to shreds. This would be quite a scene to see if everyone at school didn't know who Tak was. Nobody paid any mind to her behavior, however, and continued to walk to their classes. Zim continued to stare at Tak, not really showing any emotion, and when they locked eyes Zim could see Tak's hatred for this holiday even through her holographic eyes. Tak immediately turned away and stomped off to class; Gaz stepped next to Zim.

"She loves you," she said. "She always has." Zim stared at Gaz in utter belief, but before he could ask anything Gaz continued. "You missed it, didn't you? She was so furious at that kid, but as soon as she saw you looking at her, she softened."

"She did?" Zim asked, staring at the direction where Tak had disappeared. "I didn't notice." A sharp pain hit the back of his head.

"Boys never notice anything, do they?" Gaz's hand was still in the air, while Zim's rubbed he spot where she had hit him. "Even alien boys."

"How can you tell that she loves me?" he growled slightly.

"I'm a girl," she said irritably. "Trust me. I can tell. She didn't take those gifts from the kid because she wanted you to give them to her." Zim nodded his head, starting to understand his situation.

"So, what should I give her?" he asked, but got no answer. Gaz had walked away, but signaled that she had heard him with a wave of her hand. If Zim had ears, one might've been able to see steam blow out of them from the lack of straight answers. Thinking about what he could give to Tak for Valentine's Day, he headed to class.

The rest of the day had been pain-filled in a long montage of failed gifts to Tak. While nobody paid attention to what he was doing, Zim had made a series of complicated presents to give to the alien girl, but all was met by a toss in the trashcan, punch in the face, or the forever-painful barbeque sauce that she just happened to carry with her. It was then that Zim decided to take a much simpler, less painful attempt at showing his doubtful feelings to Tak. When the final bell rang, he caught up to the annoyed girl.

"If you even try to give me another one of your stupid gifts, Zim, I'm going to throw you into a pool," Tak threatened, causing Zim to flinch in fear. "And this time, I'll make sure you don't come out." Zim could tell that she meant every word, and he could see the hatred and annoyance in her purple eyes, past the cleverly disguised hologram. He took a deep breath before speaking.

"Would you like to come to my house for dinner tonight?" he quickly asked before covering his face with his hands, expecting to be punched again. But after waiting for what felt like hours, he peered through his fingers. Tak's look of incredulousness surprised Zim as he realized that maybe this was all he needed to do instead of giving her complicated presents. He slowly lowered his arms and stared at Tak, awaiting a response. Seeming to realize that look on her own face, she quickly returned to her dark demeanor and rolled her eyes before finally speaking.

"I suppose," she sighed. "There's nothing better to do on a stupid day like this. I'll be over at 6:30." She glared at him with narrowed slits. "Just don't try anything or you'll be sorry." Leaning away from his face, Tak quickly turned away and walked out the front doors, leaving Zim alone with a tiny grin on his face.

"Gir! Come to the living room!" Zim shouted as he reentered his house for the second time that day. The small robot, still holding the same pig from earlier, quickly walked toward the front door where his master stood. After Zim had removed his contacts and wig, he looked at Gir with a clear sense of annoyance around him.

"Gir," he started reluctantly, "I need your help." Gir's blank expression quickly shifted to a look of shock, leading Zim to massage his temples. He couldn't believe he was doing this.

"You need… _my_ help?" Gir asked slowly and incredulously. Zim simply nodded and quickly explained what happened to the stunned robot.

"So, Gir," he finished, "I need you to make dinner for us. Understand?" Dropping the stuffed pig, Gir saluted to Zim and emitted a brief red glow from his eyes before reverting back to his blue form, and walk into the kitchen to prepare Zim and Tak's meal. Zim hoped he knew what he was doing.

The three hours between when Zim came home and Tak's arrival ticked by quickly, and with each passing minute Zim's squiddlyspooch churned with nervousness. Since the alien had never done something like this before, he simply cleaned up the living room and commanded the computer to lie out a table. It suggested that he set out silverware, napkins, candles, and roses, but Zim only set out the former two. He didn't understand the importance of candles at dinner, and, seeing Tak's attitude toward flowers, decided against roses at the table. With only fifteen minutes left, and Gir not allowing Zim into the kitchen and thus, his lab, he simply sat on the couch and waited. At exactly 6:30, he heard a knock on the front door.

Taking in a deep breath, Zim placed his gloved hand on the door so he could see through to the other side. Tak was in her human form, not looking pleased to be at his house, and Mimi was with her, in her menacing-looking cat disguise. Breathing again, Zim opened the door.

"Hi, Tak," he said as politely as he could. "Please come-"

"Let's get this over with," Tak growled as she shoved Zim out of the way.

"In," he finished, not at all surprised that Tak interrupted him mid-sentence. As soon as Zim closed the door, the sound of crackling electricity hit his antennae, and when he turned around his jaw dropped to the floor.

Tak's hologram had disappeared to reveal her true, alien self, but she had changed her classic Irken attire to something that no one would ever think of seeing her in. Instead of her purple shirt, a spaghetti-strap dark purple dress flowed down to her ankles where her boots had been replaced with black sandals. Her black gloves had been switched with shorter ones; Zim was in complete awe, and he felt a little embarrassed that he hadn't bothered changing into something nice as well. He made a mental note to yell at his computer later about not reminding him about doing that. When she saw the look on Zim's face, Tak blushed slightly.

"Mimi and my computer made me," she explained, turning her red face away from Zim. "They know how much I hate dresses." Zim didn't say a word, entranced at Tak's beauty for the first time, and after realizing that they were still standing offered her a seat on the couch. However, sitting on the couch next to each other caused and awkward silence between Zim and Tak, but it was too late for Zim to call down two chairs. He didn't want to show Tak that he was incapable of doing things for himself. Besides, deep down, he kind of liked sitting next to the dressed up alien girl. It was then when Gir came into the living room with their dinner, to Zim's relief. Unfortunately, it was a mountain of waffles, which seemed to be the only thing the robot could actually cook. After he set the plates down, he stood still with his tongue sticking out.

"Okay, Gir, thank you," Zim practically said through his teeth. "That'll be all." Gir's eyes glowed red briefly as he saluted before turning away to go back into the kitchen. Zim smiled slightly at Tak, but she only responded with an emotionless look and a grab for her fork. She didn't get a chance to put the human food into her mouth before Gir showed up again in front of her face, surprising her so much that she let out a small shriek and fell off the couch.

"I almost forgot the syrup!" Gir shouted happily, as if nothing had happened. Zim quickly hopped off the couch to help up Tak, but Mimi had already beaten him to it. Both Zim and Mimi glared at Gir, who only had the same goofy look on his face as before. But as soon as he saw Mimi, Zim knew that something bad was about to happen.

"Hi, Mimi!" Gir screamed with excitement, lunging for Tak's robot with the syrup bottle still in his hand. Mimi barely had time to react, and at the speed Gir was going and the direction the bottle was pointing, ended up with Zim and Tak being covered head to toe with the sticky residue. Mimi quickly got off the floor from under Gir and threw him across the room. This was not going according to Zim's plan.

"Tak, I'm so sorry," he apologized, his antennae lowered with embarrassment and sadness. "This wasn't supposed to go like this." Tak, her purple eyes filled to the brim with extreme amounts of anger, simply glared at Zim without saying a word. Activating hers and Mimi's holograms, she started for the door.

"Mimi, we're leaving," she said as she swung open the door. As the disguised robot followed after he master, she slammed the door shut, leaving Zim alone with the hyper robot.

"Bye-bye!" he waved to the already departed guests before he looked at Zim. "That was fun." Zim still continued to stare at the door, dumbfounded that this night had gone by so horribly.

"Computer," he sighed as he turned to go to his lab to clean himself off, "please clean up this mess." Gir tried following behind his master.

"Can I help?" he asked, unaware of how upset Zim was.

"No, Gir." Zim placed his hand in front of the robot's face to stop him from going any further. "You've done enough." Leaving Gir alone, Zim made his descent to the lab.

February 15th. Valentine's Day was over and the decorations had been taken down, returning the school to its original, boring self. Tak, personally, was glad she could go another three-hundred sixty-five days without having to worry about the dumb holiday, except now she didn't have a good reason to punch people harder than she already did. She arrived at school a bit after Zim did, but he was obviously trying to avoid her, still embarrassed from last night. As Tak slowly followed behind him and into the building, she went back to her thoughts about the night before.

When she had returned home, fuming with anger and still covered in syrup, she quickly tore off the dress (but not enough to rip it) and changed into her regular clothes after washing the sticky substance off. She had complained about what happened to her computer, but both the computer and Mimi asked if it was really Zim's fault. After thinking for a while, Tak realized that Zim had really tried to make the night perfect for her, and it was his unstable robot that had ruined the night. It was then when Tak decided to talk to Zim about it and tell him it wasn't his fault.

By the time Tak had entered the school she had lost Zim. She shrugged it off, knowing that she'd see him later in class, and continued toward her locker. When she opened it she was greeted by a card with her name on it. Her curiosity peaked, she reached for the card and read it to herself.

_Tak,_

_I'm so sorry about last night. I was stupid to ask Gir to help when I knew it would go wrong. I could go on and on about this, so I'll just get to the point. Even though I'm a day late, Happy Valentine's Day._

_-Zim_

Tak stared at the card, reading it again and again, hardly believing that this was written by Zim himself. And yet, she knew it was. Somehow, Zim had been the only one to understand that she didn't need a million flowers or tens boxes of chocolate, but that she only wanted something simple. Clutching the card tightly in her hand, Tak shut her locker and walked off to class, a smile plastered on her face.


End file.
